***edited to add: people's life decisions are no concern of mine, until they start putting down my choices and what I do. Everyone has it hard in one way or another. I would rather keep my own problems than deal someone else's. Did I judge the person who didn't want to waste her degree, yes, but only because she was so rude about it. And I didn't judge her for her choice to go back to work. I judged her for her anger at the person who didn't. I'm sure there is more to her story, but she didn't need to be rude.***
I have a temper and get angry quickly. However, I also rarely get offended so my angry burns out quickly. I also don't get offended by silly e-cards, until last night. This just happened to come at the wrong time. Lately, I've been hearing a lot more people say how easy it is to be a stay at home mom. Let me tell you, if it's easy, you're not doing it right. If it's easy, you're that parent who lets their kids do whatever they want and never disciplines. If it's easy, you most likely use the television as a babysitter. It may seem easy to people who only see their children on the weekends and a couple of hours each day, but it's not easy. Not if you're actually raising your children. Let me clarify, I'm not saying working moms have it easy. They don't. In fact, I don't know how working moms can juggle kids' activities without a network of people around to help out. Then there are my single friends who work full time and have kids to raise. They are my heroes because I wouldn't be able to do it without help. What I'm talking about are all those people who think stay at home moms have it so easy. Those people who hold full time jobs and think they are better than stay at home moms because they do "more" every day than we do. I promise you, stay at home moms do more in a day than most people do in a week. My issue is with the people who want to have a slew of kids and then can't wait to get back to work because there is no way they could stay at home all day with their children, yet put stay at home moms down for their choice not to go back to work. I know someone who told me, while I was pregnant with Monster and working, that she couldn't believe another friend of ours actually took time off of work and wasted her degree to be a mom. The person who said this, has 4 kids and a nanny. My response, mind you before I even had children, was why do you have kids if you don't want anything to do with raising them? I've said this before, I'm not naive. People have to work and leave their children. It's how this country is built. I'm not putting those people down. But don't, for one minute, ever think that I'm wasting my time or my college degree because I chose to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with no vacation time or pay. Just because you have a job and are a mom, don't for one moment think you are better or smarter than I am. Chances are, I have more education and world experience than you. Chances also are, that since I never leave my job, I'm tired and cranky and could possibly come after you with a baseball bat next time you mention how easy my job is and how hard you have it. I don't go around telling you how easy it must be to only see your kids when you're putting them to bed and dragging them around on errands on the weekends. Until you walk in someone's shoes, shut up.
***edited to add: people's life decisions are no concern of mine, until they start putting down my choices and what I do. Everyone has it hard in one way or another. I would rather keep my own problems than deal someone else's. Did I judge the person who didn't want to waste her degree, yes, but only because she was so rude about it. And I didn't judge her for her choice to go back to work. I judged her for her anger at the person who didn't. I'm sure there is more to her story, but she didn't need to be rude.***
3 Comments
Mom
9/13/2012 03:07:11 pm
That was QUITE a rant!! Although there is a great difference in our ages, I can say quite honestly that I agree with everything you wrote. I remember, when I was teaching and you were very young, I had to attend parent/teacher conferences at night. After giving one mother some suggestions for helping her child at home, she said, "But I'm a working mother." I looked her in the eye and said, "So am I."
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Mikey
9/16/2012 08:27:26 am
Some of the many items that the previous owner of my new home left behind for me to dispose of was his collection of self help books. Many of them about raising kids. Our favorite one (one that we saved for humor and examples sake) is called "How to raise kids at home in your spare time". Something (other than the opinion 99% of the people I have talked to have of him) tells me that this man did not win father of the year when his kids were growing up... Should you ever need help, I have a collection of books self help just for you... ;)
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Faye
9/18/2012 08:46:11 am
Well said my friend!!! Bottom line.... If staying home is easy, you're not doing it right!!!!!!
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