Writing has always been my outlet. I am much better with pen and paper (or keyboard and screen) than expressing my thoughts and emotions verbally. No one needs to hear my anger though. No one needs to hear my sadness. I write those things just for me. I hate to say I'm concerned with what other people think, but I am actually concerned about people's feelings. I write a lot about my frustrations, but I don't ever publish any of it because I don't want anyone to feel hurt. Silly really, because, in the real world, no one stops to think about my feelings.
The things that I write and delete would change relationships, and not in a good way. Things that I write and delete would make people mad. Heck, they make husband mad and he's is the most loving, wonderful person I know. It would make people mad mostly because I'd be calling them out on their bullshit. It calls people out on their flaws. And I don't just do it for others. I do it for myself as well. I won't, for a second, say I'm perfect. In years past, I would never say that I was better than other people either. Now, I would. I am better than some people because I actually give a damn.
So, even though it seems like there are huge gaps in my writings, there's not. There are currently 7 unpublished posts in my drafts, which don't include the hundreds I've deleted. I said this when I started this blog, I write for me. I write for my kids. If you don't like something I have to say, don't read it.