Today was a rough day for Monster and I didn't make it any easier. I over reacted to something very small due to my own issues with the past and the amount of pain I'm dealing with today. I looked at these teenagers and I wanted to take it all back. I wanted to go all the way back to this morning when I woke my baby up for school. I wanted him to really hear the words that I say to him every, single day. "Good morning my sweet baby angel. You are my precious gift from God. I love you so much. You are going to have a fantastic day." I wanted to go back to that exact moment and I wanted to freeze it until he, and I, truly got it. Until we truly understood it, because what it means is that we will get through anything together. I need to freeze time so that Sunshine and I can go back, too. I would love to show Sunshine was a fantastic day she had, because it was truly amazing. I need her to see how proud I am of her. With all the hustle and bustle of life, I'm not sure the good gets conveyed as much as the bad. So I need to freeze time. I need my babies to stay little for just a bit longer. I need them to truly see how wonderful they are. I need them to know how much they loved. I just need more time. Maybe if I freeze time, I can get this parenting things right.
There are so many moments in the day where I wish I could freeze time. I wish that I could just get a little more done before whatever the next thing we are on to starts. Today, I sat and waited for Sunshine to finish Girl's Club at our local rec center. While waiting, I saw so many teenagers, and I wanted to freeze time. I wanted to just stop the clock and keep my babies little for just a little longer. These kids that I'm seeing are going to be my kids before I know it. Will my kids be the ones who politely held the doors open others or will they be the ones throwing things are cursing in the lobby? Will my kids be one of the kids who happily walk in with their parents or will they be the ones who want nothing to do with us?
Today was a rough day for Monster and I didn't make it any easier. I over reacted to something very small due to my own issues with the past and the amount of pain I'm dealing with today. I looked at these teenagers and I wanted to take it all back. I wanted to go all the way back to this morning when I woke my baby up for school. I wanted him to really hear the words that I say to him every, single day. "Good morning my sweet baby angel. You are my precious gift from God. I love you so much. You are going to have a fantastic day." I wanted to go back to that exact moment and I wanted to freeze it until he, and I, truly got it. Until we truly understood it, because what it means is that we will get through anything together. I need to freeze time so that Sunshine and I can go back, too. I would love to show Sunshine was a fantastic day she had, because it was truly amazing. I need her to see how proud I am of her. With all the hustle and bustle of life, I'm not sure the good gets conveyed as much as the bad. So I need to freeze time. I need my babies to stay little for just a bit longer. I need them to truly see how wonderful they are. I need them to know how much they loved. I just need more time. Maybe if I freeze time, I can get this parenting things right.
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