Let me give another example. When we're walking down the street and people's bushes are taking over the road, I tell my kids to walk single file and don't touch the green because of poison ivy. I get eye rolls and "stop being so paranoid". Walking to the ice cream place this weekend I did my normal "don't touch the green", got my normal grief and eye rolls. There was a section filled with poison ivy sticking out on the sidewalk. Sunshine now has poison ivy. Sure enough, it had to have been my negative thinking that gave her the poison ivy, not the fact that no one listens to me. Or how about how I keep telling Monster not to chew on ice or suckers because it's going to mess with the sealant on his teeth. Now, I have to take him back to the dentist because he cracked the filling in his one tooth (not a cavity, a preventative filling due to enamel not forming properly). To fix it is costing double what it cost to get it done in the first place. But, it wasn't the ice or suckers that did it. No, it was my being "negative" about it. My negativity must have crept into his mouth and cracked it.
This isn't my first rodeo, people, and I'm quite sick of people thinking it is. I'm done with people telling me I don't know what's going to happen, and then, exactly what I think is going to happen, does. I haven't let this ruin my summer, but it makes my days a lot harder when I have to deal with tired, crabby, itchy kids. I'm the one cleaning up the mess and trying to make the day not a complete disaster. I'm the one trying to fit in dentist visits or doctor visits on top of the million other things I have to do. Me. I don't see any of the people telling me I'm so negative here trying to help out. In fact, there's never anyone here trying to help out. I'm extremely fortunate that Husband has been around at night to help, but, even with that, the majority of it is all me. He can't be here for the daytime stuff. He doesn't have the luxury of having a flexible job where he can take off when he wants.
Stop telling me how negative I'm being and actually hear what I'm saying. Yes, I know that my anxiety gives me irrational fears at times, but I actually don't share those. If I did, I know you would think I'm nuts because, those fears, I realize, are irrational most of the time. The worries I share are based on experience, not me being negative. I have never told my children they can't play in the yard because of poison ivy, nor have I told them not to walk down the street. I've told them to be careful and don't touch every last green leafy thing, especially on other people's property. Don't tell me not to worry if the kids wake up early when you're not here. If you come take my tired, crabby kids to give me a break (there's a whole post coming about this topic), then fine, tell me not to worry if the kids get up early. Yet this whole summer, not one person has offered to take my kids off my hands (*disclaimer, one person has offered, and she is a person who never tells me I'm being negative or crazy, and I thank you for that A).
My life is not filled with negativity. Sharing some very real worries, aren't me being negative. There's a whole lot in my life I'm not worried about at all. There are million things I'm completely worried about but never share because I want my kids to experience things and not always worry about the little stuff. I also want my kids to use their heads and know the consequences for certain actions. Pretty sure Sunshine is now going to watch when she walks down the street. As for chewing on ice, Monster probably won't learn because he's not the one footing the bill and since this was never an actually cavity, there's no drilling or getting numb. That means, I'll have to go back to yelling at him for chewing ice and I'll get eye rolls and "stop being so negative", once again from everyone around me. Maybe this next round, I should ,keep track of who tells me that and then hand them the bill for the cracked filling. In fact, the next time someone tells me not to worry if the kids wake up early, I'm going to drop them off on their doorstep for 8 hours, which is actually less time than I have to deal with their crabbiness. Putting them in front of the television or electronics or a book doesn't count, because that's not how we do things in this family. Actually be with the kids and see how lack of sleep effects them. If I had any sort of help, I could see how it would look like I was being negative. But I don't and I also don't take shortcuts. My kids will not be watching TV all day. My kids will not be on electronics. My kids will be doing things and I'll be dealing with their bad attitudes because they are tired. And don't you, ever, tell me my "negative thinking" brings this on. I work harder than most people to actually make life a positive experience for my family. I'm not out to make my kids' lives magical. That's not my job. I'm making my kids' lives meaningful. And it's definitely not being negative.