I buy gummy snacks and then hide them from my kids. When my kids see the wrappers, I play dumb. I pull all the "good" candy out from trick or treating and keep it for myself and Husband.
I steam mop my kitchen table.
I take the batteries out of toys and tell my kids the batteries must be bad. I purposely don't "learn" how to work certain things in the house so Daddy has to do it. Even though we have Netflix, I sometimes tell Sunshine My Little Pony is not on so I don't have to watch it.
I take pictures of the kids art work so I don't have to save it. When they notice their art is missing, I blame Daddy. I recycle some of Monster's school papers without even looking at them.
I tell my kids I'm 21.
None of these things make me, or anyone, a bad mom. They make us normal.