When Monster was three, he went to a preschool in which the day was 4 hours long. School was the first time he had ever been away from me, other than when I was in the hospital delivering Sunshine. After about 2 hours, I would start to get anxiety and miss him horribly. Luckily, at the school he went to, pick up was pretty flexible. There were days I'd go in a whole half hour early because I just couldn't wait to get him. The next year, he went to a different school that was a 3 hour program. That was better for me. They had a normal pick up routine so we had to wait until the kids were dismissed. I was always either the first or second one there. I just needed to have my little boy with me. Last year , for Kindergarten was pretty much the same as the year before that. Even though Monster was the only walker, I was always the second parent there. Last year, he still asked me to walk him up to the school doors each morning. He still gave me a hug and a kiss before he went in. This year, he's grown up. He needed me to walk him to the doors the first 2 weeks of school, but he'd only hug me at the corner. Now, I can't even walk him all the way to the corner of the street and if I don't get a hug and a kiss in our driveway, I just don't get one. I still catch myself looking at the clock everyday around lunch time, and I think about the fact that Monster is eating lunch or out at recess. I still catch myself chomping at the bit to leave to go pick him up, even though he's asked to walk home alone. I'm running out of moments for him to just be my little boy and it makes me very sad. It makes the moments where he allows me to snuggle him, hold his hand, and give him a hug goodbye all that more special. I treasure each moment. It's passing too quickly.
1 Comment
Faye
1/14/2013 01:26:14 am
I have been feeling the same way. It's so hard. He doesn't want as many hugs anymore. I miss those times when there were tons of hugs and kisses, but you are right it makes the ones that I do get all that more special.
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