I'm not sure why it came to me, but I was thinking about my son and how each time he gets almost 2 sides of his Rubik Cube done correctly, he comes to show me. This is nothing new. He's gotten it completely done before, so, in my head, I brush off getting almost 2 sides completed. I nod and say, "Good job", without even looking. This morning, it hit me, I'm being an idiot. It doesn't matter how many times he actually completes the Rubik Cube. It's about the process for him. He's proud when he's figuring things out. Him showing me that he almost has two sides has nothing to with the Rubik Cube itself, it has to do with him wanting me to be proud of him, and I've just brushed him off.
Then I stopped and thought about my daughter. For weeks, she has been playing school and reading to her class. She has wanted me to listen to her stories, and same thing, I only nod and half listen as she's reading. I know her reading is incredible. I'm so very fortunate that she's advanced in reading, but I realized I don't actually tell her her that. Yesterday, she told me that she moved up 2 more levels in reading and I simply said, "That's great" without even looking at her. I want that moment back. Her advancing at a rapid pace in reading is just something I've come to expect from her. We don't work on it together, she just does it all on her own, like her brother did, but that doesn't mean she's not beaming with pride about it. For Monster, he just saw his reading skills as an every day thing. It's different for Sunshine. She sees her reading as an accomplishment. I've forgotten that.
I've been so wrapped up with finances, Puppy being sick, the holidays, schedules, and every day tasks, that I've forgotten to really look at my kids. I've been so focused on what activity they have that day, what's for dinner, do they have enough laundry that I've forgotten about their real needs. Their real needs are they need to feel loved, appreciated, and valued. This morning, it changes. I'm going to remember. I'm going to get back to remembering to look at my kids and listen to them. I'm going to get back to understanding what's important to them even if it's not that big of a deal to me. And it's not just my kids. I'm going to actually open my eyes again to the world around me. Sorry, friends, for my lack of compassion lately. I'm getting back to it, I promise!