My dream of being a mom and what my life looks like are vastly different. I always pictured myself with 4 kids. A boy, twins, and a girl. Yes, in that order. Each morning, I would kiss my husband, dressed in a business suit, goodbye as I handed him his briefcase, with our perfect dog at my feet. My children would be examples of what all children should strive to be. I would bake and be crafty. I would make their perfect little lunches and kiss them as they walked out the door and got on the bus. My hair would be perfect. I would dress in the latest fashions. I would be a successful...whatever my other dream was at the time...while the kids were in school and then perfect mom and wife the rest of the time. Dinner would always be hot and ready on the table. My house would be spotless. We would all get along 100% of the time. The house that we all happily lived in was big enough for all of us to have our own space. It even had a white picket fence.
That's what I wanted my life to be like "when I grew up". Parts of my dream have come true, but, quite honestly, in real life, I'd be happy with a shower on a daily basis. I was a teacher and I loved my job. I am a mom to 2 wonderful children (there is no way I would ever be able to deal with 4!) and I have an extremely hard working husband. I can be crafty. I love to bake. The rest? Well.... I kiss my husband, dressed in jeans, a safety yellow shirt and work boots, each morning. If he's lucky, I make him a sandwich. If he's not, he either starves or fends for himself. My neurotic dog is usually already standing in the garage waiting to go out or he's upstairs literally slamming himself against our bed to wipe his eye boogers off. I admit, I do make my kids their perfect, well balanced lunches every day. I actually enjoy that. I walk my less than perfect (but still pretty good) children to school every day. My hair is in a ponytail 99% of the time and I only wear jeans and t-shirts. My house is not spotless. Though we do all get along very well, it's not 100% of the time. It's more 60-40. Our house definitely does not allow us to have our own space. Heck, we have one bathroom! Can't wait for the teen years with that...
While my children are away at school, I don't go to my highly successful career. Someone recently asked me what I do all day long. Let me give you an example....I vacuum, mop, do laundry, take my neurotic dog out, clean the bathroom, bake cookies, make beds, and do dishes. All that is usually between the hours of 9:00-noon. And that's a relaxing day where I can actually sit down and check my email or catch up on Facebook. No where in my "when I grow up" dream did I see myself scrubbing dog vomit off carpets or running to the grocery store or trying to make everyone happy with dinner (because in my fantasy life dinner was just made and everyone happily ate it). At no time did I dream of being committee chairs for the PTO and having to run around for that. In my dream, somehow all 4 of my perfect kids got to every activity they were in, which was many since they were so well rounded, without having to rush or try to rearrange things to make it work. There was always plenty of time in my perfect world. Oh, and not once did I ever do laundry in my dreams....I'd just like to point that out since my children think I love to do laundry (seriously, just ask them). Not once in my dreams did I scrub pee off of the sides of toilets, because, let's face it, males just can't aim.
There was something else missing from my perfect dream life though....laughter. Of course everyone was happy in my dreams, but, until you live it, there is no way of knowing how the sound of pure laughter can make you're whole day. Kid snuggles also did not appear in my dreams. There is no way I could have ever known how important those are. My dream was also missing the feeling of pride when your child does something wonderful. The adrenaline rush of watching my children compete in events wasn't present in my dreams. The way unconditional love feels is something that was way beyond even my wildest dreams. There are no words to even express how my children's, and Husband's, love makes me feel.
The dream is constantly shifting. I know that what I dream of now is not going to be my dream in another year. But it's OK because the reality includes so much more than the dream has to offer.