I had a moment when Is started to feel sorry for myself. Seriously bad day. So, I made a point to stop and look at the positives. It worked. I stopped feeling bad and started to just be grateful it wasn't worse. Life happens and we just have to go with it. Our attitude can either make or break us. I chose to not let it break me. Choose happiness.
I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Some days are like that. My Sunshine wasn't so sunny. I left my sunglasses at the hair salon, which is 30 minutes away. I left my jewelry that I needed to get cleaned while I was in the same town as the hair place at home. I found out there are even more rehearsals for the winter ballet than originally planned. I forgot it was Book Fair day at school, which meant my kids had no money for books. My car wouldn't start so I had to cancel personal training. Not only would my car not start, but it was parked behind the van and next to the broken truck, so I was literally stuck with three vehicles...two not working and one blocked in. I hadn't shopped for Husband's birthday. Sunshine's bright pink tights ran all over the rest of the laundry. And to top it off, it was a really, really bad pain day. BUT....Sunshine had a great time playing with her friend we had over. My stylist left my sunglasses at the front desk and I can pick them up when I get back out there. Since I have to go get my sunglasses, I can also take my jewelry that I originally forgot to be cleaned. Since my car wouldn't start and I had to cancel personal training, I got to go to the Book Fair, at least for Sunshine, and get books. I have friends who can bring Sunshine home from her extra dance rehearsals so I can still take Monster to tutoring. I got to shower. Oxiclean took the pink right out of the other clothes in the wash. Husband ended up coming home to get the broken truck so he was able to roll my car down the drive and use the new truck to jump it. Since he was taking the broken truck up to the office, he needed a ride home, which meant we got to go out for dinner after picking him up. I had nothing to do the following day, so I still had time to go shopping for birthday gifts.
I had a moment when Is started to feel sorry for myself. Seriously bad day. So, I made a point to stop and look at the positives. It worked. I stopped feeling bad and started to just be grateful it wasn't worse. Life happens and we just have to go with it. Our attitude can either make or break us. I chose to not let it break me. Choose happiness.
0 Comments
I have always been better at expressing myself through writing. It has always made me feel better to get my thoughts out, even if I know no one will read them. I can't even begin to tell you how many blog posts I have written and then deleted before ever publishing. I need to write them though, just to get them off my chest. A few days ago, a friend of mine who suffers from chronic pain posted this article. She and I have commiserated for many years about dealing with our pain. This article makes a lot of sense. I was telling my friend that it feels good to get the negative emotions out so that I am better able to focus on the good. When I'm having and bad pain day, I'm a lot more angry and bitter. She responded with, "Pain causes stress within the body, which causes more tension and pain." And that's totally true. Pain is a vicious cycle that takes its toll on someone mentally and physically.
I hate admitting I'm in pain. I hate to admit when it's control it has over me. I hate to admit how angry I get about it. Pain just sucks. It sucks the life right out of you. I look back through the years and see how much I missed because of pain and I hate it. I hate that it makes me angry and bitter. It begins to spiral and I get angry and bitter about everything. Then I write. I currently have 2 drafts of posts that I promise you will never be published. Thinking about them, I realize that I started them on days when the pain was worse. Yesterday was a bad pain day. On bad pain days, I move a little slower. I lack motivation. My fuse is shorter. Mornings that I write though, even if I only delete it all after, I can manage a bit better. I did that yesterday. Poor me, poor me, poor me. That was the theme of my writing that I deleted. When I looked over it, I felt stupid. Poor me? I am so lucky. I lead such a blessed life. I have so many wonderful things in my life and I can still do so much. Yes, the pain sucks, but I can deal with it. That's how writing it out changed my mindset. Was I still in pain? Yes. Was the pain itself any less? No. My attitude about it was better though since I got all that negativity out. If you suffer from chronic pain, read the article and give it a try. It's not going to hurt anymore than it already does. It's not going to take the pain away, but maybe, just maybe it can help you see the silver lining in the clouds. I have finally convinced all of my family members that I really am no longer concerned with what they want to eat for dinner. They will eat what is put in front of them. Everyone. This means that I've been breaking out some new recipes. Some were not so good, others were surprisingly yummy!
Creamy Pasta Caprese This was a huge surprise because Sunshine actually ate it! Husband wasn't thrilled, but ate it. Monster and I enjoyed it. I may actually cut down on the cheese the next time I make it. It got super stringy, but was still good. Beef Tips with Gravy and Mashed Potatoes I didn't use tri-tips, like the recipe called for. I had some stew meat from a local farm in my freezer, so I used that. It turned out very nicely. Sunshine hated the meat, but actually ate the mashed potatoes. Monster, Husband and I liked it all. I didn't use the mashed potato recipe that she gave. I just made regular old mashed potatoes. I served it with a yummy side of green beans. Easy Crockpot Potato Soup Sunshine hated it. Monster and Husband thought it was OK. I enjoyed it. However, it makes a TON. If I make this again, I'm going to make sure I have another family to split it with! Slow Cooker Asian Beef This did not go over well. I knew Husband wouldn't like it because he does not like Asian food. I knew Sunshine wouldn't like it because, well, it's meat. I thought maybe Monster would like it, but he only tolerated it. I loved it. I thought it was fantastic! If I have people over who enjoy Asian food, I would not hesitate to make this again. but for my family, this is a no repeat dish. Greek Honey and Lemon Pork Chops This was by far the worst received of the new meals in my house. Sunshine hated it (see the pattern). Husband barely tolerated it. In fact, he had to smother it in BBQ sauce to even eat it. Monster thought it was pretty OK. I was able to eat it with a lot of salt and pepper. Not sure exactly what it was about this that we didn't care for, but I will not be making this again. And I couldn't leave out a new dessert. Apple Oatmeal Cookies These were super yummy. I didn't add the walnuts that were called for since no one in my family really cares for nuts in their cookies. I really wanted to add raisins, but I was out of them. I will definitely make these again, and add raisins! We teach our children to take care of problems on their own. Every problem has a different way of being handled, like every person has a different way of handling it. Some people talk it out. Some people fight it out. Some people just ignore it. We try to teach our children that certain problems should be calmly talked out and others should just be ignored. Yet, at school, the main place that children learn social rules, this is all contradicted. If a student tries to solve a problem on their own, they are told that they should have told the teacher. If a student tells the teacher, they are told that they are either tattling or they should try to solve it themselves. It is no wonder that most kids, including both of mine, don't speak up. It is no wonder there is so much bullying going on and no one is aware of it. And it's not just students bullying other students. If a teacher discipline's a student for a situation that they misinterpreted, students do no feel they can stick up for themselves. If a student tries to explain the situation, most teachers, instead of listening, disciple the student, yet again and more harshly, for being disrespectful. This is bullying. Yes, a student needs to respectfully explain things to a teacher, but the act of making someone feel as though they can not defend themselves is bullying. It's not just the students who feel as though they can't defend themselves, it's also the parents. If you are a parent who goes in to try to rectify a situation, you are seen as a troublemaker and it will be taken out on your child. Please note, I'm generalizing. There are many good teachers and staff out there, but for the most part, I know more who fall into the bullying the category than the others. I'm also not saying let kids get away with everything. A great example is a situation that occurred with Monster. He got "in trouble" for throwing his book on the floor, repeatedly, in the hallway. At first glance, there is nothing to this. He was wrong. It was disrespectful. Thankfully, his teacher asked him about it and she actually listened to him. He was in the hallway working on math. The other students were loud and he couldn't concentrate so he was trying to get their attention to be quiet. His teacher explained that she understood why he did what he did, but this was the wrong way to go about it. He still had a consequence for his action, but she made him feel better about it by actually listening and acknowledging his side of the story. Know what else? She made the rest of the students quiet down. From past experience in the school and being a teacher in schools, I promise you, this is not the norm, but it should be.
Another things that we strive to teach our children is that when they do make mistakes and do something wrong, they should apologize. There are certain problems that come up that really, an apology is all you can do. Admit your mistake and deal with the consequences. It happens to all of us, adults or children. Yet, again, in the schools, why is it that the adults, who are supposed to be leading by example, have such a difficult time admitting that they were wrong and apologizing. Instead, they belittle a child and when they find out they were in the wrong, they simply ignore their past behavior. I hate being wrong, yet I will be the first to apologize when I realize I had made a mistake. Doesn't sound like bullying to you? Well, how about we put it with an example. Say a child gets in trouble for not handing something in they were supposed to hand in. The student tries to explain their side of the story. The student tells exactly where they put the item. All year, the student is punished for not having said item. Toward the end of the year, the adult finds the item, where the child said it was. There is no apology given, just a "It was found in [right where you said it was]." The next year, the child is so worried and paranoid that this will happen again that the child has anxiety over the situation. Yeah, that's bullying. Had an simple, sincere, apology been given, maybe that student wouldn't have had so much anxiety over it. In a society where schools are on this "anti-bullying" kick, it's amazing how much bullying goes unrecognized by the adults in the school. Yes, children need to be respectful. Yes, they need to follow the rules. Yes, they need to have consequence for their actions. But let me tell you, most schools are doing a poor job at implementing this. It makes me so mad when I see huge anti bullying campaigns at the school, yet, in my son's classroom, there is a child who is such a bully, that children (yes, plural) have been transferred out of the class. When asked about this student, my son says that people will not tell on the student for fear of retaliation. Nice. Way to implement the no bullying standards at your school. Yet, students with much smaller offenses are forced to miss recess. So I say again, how is making students not say anything not bullying on the part of the adults in charge? Be quiet. Keep your head down. Don't speak up. Just take it. Those are the messages we're passing on. We are headed to an anti-bullying event tonight and next week is Unity Day to unite against bullying. All the schools are wearing orange and they have even had special shirts made up. The irony of this seems to be lost on most. Maybe instead of only wearing orange for one day and saying you're against bullying, how about try living by the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Be a decent person, to everyone, whether you are an adult or child, and let's lead by example. There are so many moments in the day where I wish I could freeze time. I wish that I could just get a little more done before whatever the next thing we are on to starts. Today, I sat and waited for Sunshine to finish Girl's Club at our local rec center. While waiting, I saw so many teenagers, and I wanted to freeze time. I wanted to just stop the clock and keep my babies little for just a little longer. These kids that I'm seeing are going to be my kids before I know it. Will my kids be the ones who politely held the doors open others or will they be the ones throwing things are cursing in the lobby? Will my kids be one of the kids who happily walk in with their parents or will they be the ones who want nothing to do with us?
Today was a rough day for Monster and I didn't make it any easier. I over reacted to something very small due to my own issues with the past and the amount of pain I'm dealing with today. I looked at these teenagers and I wanted to take it all back. I wanted to go all the way back to this morning when I woke my baby up for school. I wanted him to really hear the words that I say to him every, single day. "Good morning my sweet baby angel. You are my precious gift from God. I love you so much. You are going to have a fantastic day." I wanted to go back to that exact moment and I wanted to freeze it until he, and I, truly got it. Until we truly understood it, because what it means is that we will get through anything together. I need to freeze time so that Sunshine and I can go back, too. I would love to show Sunshine was a fantastic day she had, because it was truly amazing. I need her to see how proud I am of her. With all the hustle and bustle of life, I'm not sure the good gets conveyed as much as the bad. So I need to freeze time. I need my babies to stay little for just a bit longer. I need them to truly see how wonderful they are. I need them to know how much they loved. I just need more time. Maybe if I freeze time, I can get this parenting things right. Our family does not get sick often, so when we do, the world seems to stop. This past week, we lost 5 days of our lives to a virus that has been going around this town. Five days may not seem like a lot, but in the life of a busy mom, it's an eternity. The toughest part was that it hit us all. We've had one child get sick. We've even had both get sick. We've had a kid and a parent down with a cold, but, before this week, we never experienced everyone getting the same virus. Sunshine was the first to get hit with it. Then Monster, Then Husband. Finally, me. Heck, even Puppy got sick...seriously.
I was mad. I was mad that this stupid virus took away 5 days of my life. I was mad that my perfectly thought out meal plan was messed up. I was mad that I got behind on laundry. I was mad that I couldn't work out. Then, I stopped. I realized that being mad about being sick was almost as time consuming as being sick. I also put it in perspective. Yes, this week sucked, but, it could have been worse. We are a very healthy family. I can not imagine how bad this week would have been if we weren't healthy. Everyone recovered rather quickly. How fortunate was that? I was so busy being mad that I forgot about how lucky we actually are. It could have been worse. I can always catch up on laundry, make a new meal plan, and work out a different time. One week later, we are all back to normal and our lives are the same crazy busy.Honestly, nothing had changed. How very wonderful is that? We are all happy and healthy. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, but I'm also grateful. I'll catch up with all my tasks. I'm so fortunate I can do that. The moment I let go of being mad about getting sick, everything that I had fallen behind on no longer seemed impossible. So, I learned a lesson. I need to be better at taking life as it comes. It's something I'll work on. My mom sent me a cute email that had answers that kids gave all about why God Made Moms. The answers were so cute, I wanted to do it with my kids. I had them do these while the other wasn't around so they didn't know what each other answered. Sunshine (age 5) answers are red and Monster (age 8) answers are blue.
Why did God make mothers? So we'd have a family. Without mothers, there wouldn't be any people, since mothers produce all of boys, girls, everyone. How did God make mothers? Adding bones. He breathed life into their bodies. What are some ingredients mothers are made of? I just said that! Bones and skeletons! Exploded stars. Gravity, molecules, minerals, atoms. Why did God give you your mother and not some other mother? I picked her. Because my mom is the best mother in the world. What kind of little girl was your mother? A girl. A good one. What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? That she loved him. If he was a nice husband. Who is the boss at your house? Daddy. Mommy. What's the difference between dads and moms? That they're girls and boys. One's a boy and one's a girl. What does your mom do in her spare time? Laundry and watch shows. Sleep. What would it take to make your mom perfect? To be good. Nothing. She is perfect. If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? Hair, right now, because I don't like it wavy that much or in a pony. Nothing. I'm not sure how many times since school has started back up that I have heard, "We are so rushed in the morning and we can't seem to get ready". I may not have my own routine for when the kids are in school down yet, but we've got mornings perfected. I came across this article this morning and decided to see what "advice" they give. I guess that if people don't feel like they have a lot of time in the mornings, these are good ideas, but honestly, my nights are a whole lot more hectic than my mornings. Even though we have bedtime routines down, there are always things that come up that don't give us a whole lot of time in the evenings. If I had to take the time to get my kids to pack their lunches the night before, that then just adds 20 more minutes to my bedtime routine. I can pack a lunch in 3 minutes (yes, I've timed it...if I'm cutting an apple though, add 2 minutes onto that) and it's always fresh and healthy. Clothes are set out the night before, most of the time, and that includes socks. In the article, step number 2 is "limiting the variety of socks". I'm actually shocked that this is an issue, or maybe I just have super easy going kids who can pick out a pair of socks to wear in less than 30 seconds. True, Sunshine will look through her socks, but she can still pick a pair in 30 seconds. Now, for those of you who know me, you know that Monster is easy when it comes to all this. I can put out any clothes and he'll just wear them. Sunshine isn't so easy, yet, it still takes no longer than 2 minutes tops to pick an outfit, and that's be generous with the time. It normally takes only going into the drawers and pulling something out. My kids don't change outfits several times in the morning because it's not acceptable. It never has been. This goes for weekends, too. Sometimes we have mishaps and we have to change change clothes, but, normally, my kids are in the same clothes in which they started the day.
I know that some people are reading this thinking I'm a hard ass or I just have agreeable children. If you've met Sunshine, you would know I have at least one child who is a bit less agreeable than the other. Yes, I am a hard ass about our morning routine, but it keeps things running smoothly. Of course there are mornings that don't go perfectly. Life happens. Our routine is so smooth that there is room for mishaps. We've basically had the same morning routine for the past 5 years. Summers and weekends we don't stick to routine, but, we are all creatures of habit, so things pretty much flow the same even off routine. So, what is my "magical" morning routine? Easy. 6:00 (not weekends) wake up, drink coffee, get my "me" time 7:30-7:45 (depending on how the night before went) wake kids up...my children are no allowed to come out of their rooms until 7:30. They can be up, just not out and bothering me. 7:30-8:00 breakfast. We don't eat cold cereal in this house. Breakfasts are oatmeal, eggs, waffles, bagels, or something along those lines. And I don't make each child the same thing. It's all about the timing though because they sit down at the table at the same time to eat. While waiting for water to boil or eggs to cook or whatever, I start lunch. I almost always sit with my kids while they are eating breakfast and chat about what's going to happen that day. 8:00-8:38 (yes, that specific of a time) Bathroom, teeth, get dressed and free time. My kids normally get 30 minutes of free time every morning. If they dilly dally while eating or getting dressed or whatever, they get less free time, so they don't dilly dally. If Monster has a test that day, he studies with me while I finish making breakfast. Thankfully, Sunshine likes to "study", too, so I can just shout out spelling words for both kids or math problems for each of them. 8:38 shoes on. In the winter this changes to 8:36 because we have more gear to put on. 8:39-8:40 walk out the door. Now, I do only live 4 houses from the school, so it takes all of 5 minutes to walk up there, so that buys me time, but our routine works even if we have to leave early for some reason. For example, when going to the airport bright and early, kids get up an hour to 45 minutes before we have to leave. We've got this down. In three years, it will all change when Monster starts middle school and he starts school when I'm normally waking them up, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it! Now here's the big secret...it's my "me" time that keeps my mornings running smoothly. I use that hour and half to write, read, check email, Facebook, Pinterest, play games, etc. I don't use it to do chores. First, I really couldn't use it to chores if I wanted to because my house is so small and Sunshine is an incredibly light sleeper after about 5 am, that any sort of noise wakes her up. But, I don't use that time to do chores because then I feel like I didn't get time to just do nothing. From 7:30 am until whatever time my head hits the pillow, I'm running. It doesn't matter if I'm sitting in front of the television with Husband for an hour before I go to bed, my mind is still racing about all the things that have happened during the day, all the things not accomplished, and all the things I have to do the next 50 years of my life. From 6:00-7:00 am (because really, that last half hour my brain starts to wake up), I think of nothing. Really. I sit downstairs with my coffee, a blanket (now that the weather is getting cooler), and my computer and that's all there is. Husband is normally already gone and everyone else is still in bed, even if Sunshine isn't always sleeping, she's in bed. When I don't get that time in the morning just for me, things start to fall apart. Things get rushed, or rather they feel rushed. We could be doing the same things at the same times, but my brain didn't the decompression time it needed. I have a friend who started to get up just a half hour earlier than everyone else in her family every day and she said it has made all the difference. As parents, I think we need time where we don't have to think. Yes, I'm still "on". What if the dog needs to go out or Sunshine actually gets up out of bed, but it's a different kind of "on" then what it's like after a full day. Even with both kids in school every day, those 2 1/2 hours go by fast and I there isn't room for "me" time. The "me" time I get then is folding laundry while watching How I Met Your Mother. Yes, it's a nice little break, but I'm still working. Anyone who has been following me knows I value my sleep above pretty much everything, so the excuse that getting up earlier is too difficult because you're so tired doesn't really hold up. I'm exhausted every morning. Each morning at 6 am when that alarm rings, I think, "I could just go back to bed for another hour. I don't need to really get up." Thankfully, something in my head says, "Nope. If you don't get up, you'll regret it." So, I drag my butt out of bed. By 6:15, I'm wide awake and thankful I got up to have my time. So there you have it. That's how the Rock household does mornings. We are a well oiled machined, for the most part, in the mornings. The rest of the day, maybe not so much, but we've the morning thing down! |
Categories
All
Archives
March 2023
|