Last week, on our second snow day, I texted a friend of mine. I asked her if she remembered “No School January” from all those years ago. I remember how difficult we thought those days were, trying to keep the kids entertained and doing “Blizzard Bags” from the school. Finding out there was a snow day the next day, Sunshine immediately asked to sleep over someone’s house. So that’s one kid down. Husband worked from home that day, so Monster hung out in his room sleeping, playing video games, and watching TV. I “got” to clean the house (lucky me!). There were no board games. There was no baking. There wasn’t even any online learning. The truth is, I’d give anything to go back to those old days. The days where my kids wanted to do things with me. The days where they weren’t embarrassed to do things with their mom. Where playing board games was fun and cool and Mommy’s cookies were the best treats ever. I miss their friendship with each other.
I do love having my kids home still, but it’s different. I know I need to embrace the “new norm” and make the best of it, but it’s tough when the new norm is everyone doing their own thing. Everything is also tough because this is Monster’s last year at home. I know he’ll be here over breaks and summer, but it won’t be the same. My heart hurts trying to squeeze every last precious moment of time with him out. I want to make it all memorable and wonderful, but teenagers have different ideas.
So, for today’s 2 hour delay, I am letting them sleep. When they get up, it will be a day like any other. They won’t know how much my heart hurts letting them go. They won’t know how much I long to wake them up just to snuggle on the couch for a little bit before sending them off. And that’s OK. They don’t need to know. They just need to grow into who they are going to be. I have never been much for sitting on the sidelines, but I’m trying to get through the best I can so they can become the best they can, even if that means less board games and more alone time.