- (about a year and a half ago, so it's not recent, but still cute) Driving home from my parents' house. We have to take I- 271 to get home. Well, Monster is big into numbers. He sees all the signs and route numbers along the freeway and asks what numbers they all make. First is 271. I tell him. He's happy. Then, we cross over 77. He asks and I tell him "Seventy-seven".
He says "But where is the D?"
" The D"
"What D, [Monster]?" "
"No, [Monster], not a D, the word seventy."
"Where's the T?"
"No, [Monster], there is no letter, it's a word, SEVENTY"
" But you told me numbers don't make words"
- Monster was eating olives. He squeezes one and looks at me and says "Look, I'm getting the martini out of the olive!"
- I asked Monster what he was doing he said "I'm fertilizing. I'm spreading horse poop so it won't hurt the environment. Chemicals hurt the environment" I love my tree hugger.
- Potty training here....Sunshine said, "May may pee out gine gine!" (interpret as "[Sunshine] peed out her vagina!")
- "Mommy, you have a hoo hoo hat", regarding my owl hat. (Sunshine)
- Mom how do you spell "pee" like the pee that comes out of your penis or vagina? (Monster)
- Monster to Sunshine regarding nose blowing, "Good girls blow."
- Lunch time. Husband: "OK, kids time to eat." Monster: "Wait just one minute. I'm trying to accomplish something."
- "All animals have poop inside of them, Dad. If you hit it [discussing deer], there will be a lot of poop" (Monster)
- "Mommy, when you and [your friend] go for walks, do you hold hands?" (Monster)