It was a hot, hot weekend. We spent our time fishing in the cooler morning and evening hours. We stayed inside playing games and watching TV the rest of the time. Yes, I said watching TV. People who know me know we don't watch much TV in this house. One day, the boy and I spent 6 hours watching the Twilight Saga. SIX HOURS. And it was heaven. My rule was we don't discuss COVID. We don't discuss the horrible situation that is going to be school this year. We don't discuss people's lack of belief in science. We don't discuss how the guy who failed out of science in HS is going around telling people that COVID can be cured with blood thinners. We don't discuss how it's all a hoax the entire world is in on. We don't discuss anything other than what we, our little family, are doing in the moment.
It was pure bliss. And then we came home.
As we pulled in onto the square of our small town, i broke down in tears. There it all was. Our new reality. People with masks, people without. People listening to science, people saying it's a hoax. People yelling about their kids must go to school, people pulling their kids out to go online. People gathering in large groups, people completely isolating. There has stopped being an in between, so when you're one of the in between people, the amount of anger that is directed at you from both sides is immense and completely overwhelming. It makes you question your every choice.
As we drove the short mile home from our town center, I was smacked in the face with the realization that things will never be "normal" again. There are rifts that are now so deep that they can not be forged. We are all broken so badly that we can't heel. Suddenly, caring for each other has become political, and I'm not just talking about masks vs no masks. I have seen the shift in values for some time. I've seen how more and more people are out for themselves. I've seen how more and more people have regressed into the egocentric stage of life. This pandemic, instead of bringing people together, split them more apart. You clearly see hard lines, where before, they were fluid. I do not fit into this new "normal". My heart is one of giving and helping and it's breaking watching what is happening.
We are all fighting a losing battle. Each one of us, no matter what you are fighting for. Until we can all figure out how to come together, how to compromise, THIS is our new normal. Let that sink in.