If you want then start to laugh, if you must than start to cry. Be yourself, don't hide. Just believe in destiny. Don't care what people say, just follow your own way...
So the question is, if I'm comfortable with who I am, why does it bother me that my son is comfortable with who he is? That seems strange doesn't it? Monster marches to his own beat and he's good with it. He doesn't play with kids at school because they don't want to play what he's playing. His response is, "I don't mind playing by myself". But it kills me. Why can't he just join in the crowd and play what everyone else is playing? Why should he? If he's comfortable doing his own thing, why should he change what he likes to do just to be with the crowd? Then there's Sunshine who I would attribute to a lemming. She does whatever her friends are doing, and it doesn't matter if she wants to or not. For her I keep asking why she doesn't just do her own thing. Why is it a double standard? "Monster, be like everyone else." "Sunshine, don't do what everyone else is doing". I would never say those things, well, maybe don't do what others are doing if what others are doing is bad, but I would never say that just about playing. I feel like society puts a lot of pressure on kids to all act the same way. When kids are young, like mine, if they aren't just like every other kid, they're "quirky" or "troublemakers". When they grow up, they are "loners" or "rebels". When we get to my age, we're "eccentric" Notice the negative connotations that go along with those words. All for being true to themselves. I'm actually quite positive that if i lived someplace else, this wouldn't be as big as an issue, but we don't live someplace else, so we all have to learn to figure out what being ourselves means.
Husband and I were actually talking about just this, this weekend. Monster is the bravest, strongest kid we know. He is constantly walking the line between doing what he wants to do and what others are doing and he can pull himself back into not going along with the crowd, most of the time. He's OK with being alone if it means that he's doing the right thing. Sunshine is working on it, in her own way. She would rather be a follower than a leader. She would rather give up what she wants to play than play by herself, most of the time. Just recently she has started to "branch out", for lack of a better term. At school, if her friends are playing something and she wants to play something else, she now will go off and play with other kids instead of her immediate group of friends. That's progress. I'm hoping she finds the balance to being herself and getting along with others. I'm hoping Monster finds that, too, but he goes the opposite direction. Sunshine is more likely to give in and go with the crowd and Monster is more likely to retreat and be alone. My hope for them is that they both realize that friends don't care if you're the bright green amongst pinks and purples. Friends may call you weird, but love you because of it. Friends don't have to see eye to eye on all things, but accept you for who you are. The people who want you to change are not your friends. They are scared. Scared because they don't know who they are. Scared because you challenge them. Scared because their ideas of always having to be one way are being broken. Scared because they don't understand that underneath then no make up, jeans and t-shirt, flip flops, bright nail polish, purple hair, there is someone who really is just like them. Scared because that person dared to be different. Dared to be themselves. So, dear Monster and Sunshine, be yourselves. Maybe you will find that your true self is society's "normal" and maybe you won't. Either way, as long as you are true to you and happy, that's all that counts.