I've also been disconnected from my friends this year, which also may be part of the problem. For years, my friend and I have spent hours chatting on the street corner or at my house. This year, both of our girls are in safety patrol, which means earlier drop off and we don't get to see each other as much. There's after school, but it's not the same. We all have places to be and things to do.
Being a stay at home mom is a gift. It truly is. However, no one talks about the loneliness that comes with it. No one talks about the feelings of guilt and the pressure that goes along with it. Since I stay home all day, everything should be done, and perfect. Normally, things are all done and run smoothly. They are never perfect, but that's been ok. Things are no longer running smoothly though. I have forgotten big events, even when they are clearly marked, and I'm scrambling to figure out how to change things around last minute. I've always been the person who has at least two back ups for my back-up plan. Now, I don't even has one back up plan.
By this time, I normally have baked a ton of Christmas goodies. This year, I've baked almost nothing. I usually enjoy baking, but, lately, it's seemed more like a chore. I'm hoping that after the holidays, I'll be more focused and can get my "Christmas" baking done.
If you are a person for whom I dropped the ball, I'm sorry. I am really trying. I am doing my best to get my head back in the game. I am hoping to reconnect to my life after the craziness of the holidays. I'm hoping this break from school and activities will give me the time I need to recharge.