This month has been a bit more hectic than I had anticipated.  With Husband being away, school ending, camps going on, swimming, soccer, baseball, and all the other things, I haven't gotten around to posting the fun stuff we've been doing.  It hasn't been all work and no play here at the Rock household.  Here, we like to combine work with play!  We took a different approach to mopping the floor.  This way was more fun, and just as effective.  Puppy did not like us running and sliding around the floor though.

Sunshine is working on letter recognition.  I'm trying to make it fun for her.  This is her 'A is for Alligator'.  Her friend was over and he made one, too.  Can you guess which color A is Sunshine's?

Learning is fun in this house.  Monster and I are doing an evaporation experiment that recreates drought vs. 'normal' weather conditions.  We have two containers that started with the same amount of water.  One container we leave and don't touch the water.  That is our drought water.  The other container, we add several drops of water to a night, not much, just enough so that it's getting a bit of water.  The goal is to see what happens.  Monster already knows, but he's having fun anyway.  

We can't leave Sunshine out of science fun.  During playgroup,the plan was to make bouncy balls.  So glad I decided to test it before having the kids do it.  It didn't work.  We'll try it again, but, since I followed directions perfectly, I'm not holding my breathe.  

On deck?  Painting with water, windsocks, jet packs, more letter crafts, making a tutu, outside mats, whining jars, and chip clip card holders.  Can't wait to see all the results!

A friend posted this article to Facebook yesterday and it went along perfectly with how I feel about letting my kids be kids.    Please take a moment to read this article.  It is really eye opening. 

Just because Husband and I aren't religious doesn't mean we don't want to introduce religion to our children.  We want them to have an understanding of all religions.  Last year, we sent Monster to a Baptist VBS.  He loved it.  It was a little too out there for my Catholic upbringing and way too out there for Husband.  We decided to try a different route with VBS this year.  We sent him to a Catholic VBS.  Again, Monster LOVED it.  This year, he actually cried when it was over and asked to go to Mass.  Well, there's no way Husband or I are attending a Catholic service, so we are trying to figure out a compromise.  

During one point in my young adult life, I tried a Methodist church since my father and his whole side of the family are Methodist.  I loved it.  I really connected.  For the first time, I found people who actually believed actions were more important than simply showing up to service.  Problem was, I then moved.  I didn't like the Methodist church where I moved to, so I just stopped going.  When I moved here, I thought about going to a church, but it never happened.  Now, I know a ton of people who attend the local Methodist church.  Most of them are good people.  In fact, Sunshine will be attending preschool there in the fall.  So, I thought this would be a good place to start Monster out.  He can go to Sunday School while I attend church.  Husband doesn't completely agree yet.  He's not sold.  He wants it to be like when he was growing up.  His father used to drop him off at Sunday School and then read the newspaper in the car and drink coffee.  That was back in 80's.  I think the rules have changed.  He wants to "research" this though.  I can't imagine that every church makes the parent be present in service for the kids to go to Sunday School.  Until he comes up with something that is better though, I think this is the route we're going to go.  Monster is desperately searching for something in his life.   Religion may be the answer. 

It's difficult for me to accept this since I'm no sold on organized religion.  When I really think about it, I'm probably more Buddhist than anything else with my philosophies.  I felt like a hypocrite giving Monster advice and telling him to pray to God and he will help take away worries.  I don't believe it, but Monster does.  That's what matters right now.  I will do anything to give my children what they need, even if that means going to church.  Who knows, maybe I'll find something I need as well.

Lately, I've noticed that I haven't been letting my kids be kids, especially Monster.  Since Monster is gifted, Husband and I have higher expectations of him.   That's not fair.  He's 6 and a boy.  That's just something we have to remember.  I've been working the past couple of weeks to really let my kids be kids.  To loosen up on my expectations.  This weekend when we got a new toilet seat, I really had to keep this in mind.  

Our old toilet seat broke from the kids slamming it, not purposely, but so they wouldn't get their fingers smashed.  I got a new "whisper close" seat.  The kids thought it was so cool and had to test it out.  I started to freak out a bit about breaking the brand new one, but I let it go, knowing they had to experiment.  At one point I did tell Sunshine she needed to stop playing with it and she replied, "But I need to see how it work!"  Fair enough.  The time to test out the functionality of it came.  Monster is in the bathroom and I notice the toilet seat closing while he's standing there.  I start to yell at him to pick it up when I notice what he's doing.  He's trying to see how close the toilet seat can get to closing before he pees on it.  He's being a boy.  I take a breathe and say, "Just don't pee on the seat" and walk away.  (I should add my kids go potty with the door open, so I was walking by)  Three weeks ago, I would have flipped out.  I would have told him he is never allowed to do that and if I caught him doing that there would be some sort of consequence.  But really, what was he hurting?  Nothing.  

Kids need to be kids.  I started out parenting believing that.  Then, I let other people's views on how my children should act skew those beliefs.  My parents never baby proofed their house because they believed children should just not touch anything and should listen when you tell them not to touch.  Children are naturally curious.  They are going to touch, especially in someplace "new".  Monster, being who he is, didn't just want to touch, he wanted to explore, learn all facets of whatever it was he was touching.  I started to become rigid.  This was not the behavior other people expected.  That's when the "don't"s  started.  Don't do this.  Don't touch that.  Don't act like a kid.  Yes, rules are important.  Yes, children need to be able to keep their hands off things they shouldn't touch.  Again though, the question is, what are they hurting?  Why shouldn't my daughter be able to take the Brave doll off the shelf at Target and look at it?  She's not opening it.  She doesn't flip out because she can't have it.  She's looking at it.  As adults, I don't think we realize how many things we touch.  We pick things up at stores all the time to see them, yet we expect our kids to walk through stores with their hands at their sides and stare straight ahead.  The important part is that they don't destroy what they are touching.  Of course there are exceptions to everything.  I'm not going to let my kids play with wine bottles or digital cameras in a store.  Now that Monster is getting older though, he thinks he should be allowed to look at the digital cameras and electronics. I get it.  He wants to know how they work.  He wants to know how everything works.  It's really just innocence.  Isn't that the point of childhood?  To be innocent for as long as you can? 

So, if your kids want to run through the sprinklers naked or look at every single matchbox car in Target, stop and ask, who is it hurting?  If the answer is no one, let them be.

Meet My Dad Questions, completed by Monster, age 6, and Sunshine, age 3.

1. What's Daddy's name?  Daddy/[J]; Daddy
2. What does Daddy do for fun?  Play with us; plays
3. What does Daddy do at work?  Fixes stuff; builds/works with something
4. What are his favorite things to eat?  Pizza; Chicken
5. What does he like to drink?  Beer;  Beer/ gin
6. How old is Daddy?  Not very old;  3
7. How tall is Daddy?  Tall;  Big
8. What is Daddy's hair like?  Black;  Braids, dat would be funny
9. How much does he weigh?  A lot;  89
10. What makes Daddy the best?  He plays with us;  Snuggling him
11. What is your favorite thing to do with Daddy?  Build;  Play babies and kitty cats
12. How long have you known Daddy?  Long; No long
13. Where did you and Daddy meet?  At the hospital where I was born;  At a store

Monster has been reading The Night at Dawn.  A while back, I found a couple neat pins for a knight's helmet and shield.   Yesterday was the perfect day to make them.  A friend had just given me cereal boxes for Monster for Camp Invention, so I just used that.  For the helmet, we used three pieces of construction paper instead of card stock, because that's what we had available.

I almost don't want to post this because I don't want Monster to read this someday and feel badly.  However, by the time he reads this, he will have found out for himself that it's a cruel world sometimes.  

Monster has been having hearing problems lately.  Last week at baseball, he could barely hear a thing, then add a helmet to that.  He gets up and hits a foul ball.  He runs to first.  People are yelling at him to go back, but he can't hear them.  It's not until he gets to first, makes eye contact with the first base coach and the coach uses hand signals that he understands he needs to go back.  In the stands, parents were yelling and laughing.  My heart was breaking.  At that point, I was thankful he couldn't hear.  

Here's what those people don't know.  Monster failed his hearing test.  He has significant hearing loss in his left ear and some loss in his right.  He's pretty much been lip reading for the past two weeks.  Would that make a difference in these people's reactions?  And if it does, why should it?  He's just a little boy.  It's just a game.

I officially have a first grader.  Bittersweet.   Monster is super bummed that school is out for summer.  He loves school.  He would go year round if he could.  I've got a difficult task this summer...keep him entertained and engaged.  We started summer off with a bang.  We went out to lunch with friends when school was over on Wednesday and then yesterday we headed to Richland Carrousel Park with the kids grandma, aunt and cousins.  After that, we got some ice cream a local diner.  Can't top that today. Chores do have to be completed, but the rest of June is jam packed.  We've got swimming, baseball, bible school and Camp Invention.  July is much calmer with only baseball.  I did that purposely because once August hits, we're full swing again.  Welcome to Summer!  Let the craziness begin!

I am constantly searching for parenting advice.  I strive to be the best parent I can, and for me, this means seeking out advice from "experts".  When Monster was little, I found that I loved the Conscious Discipline theory for him.   Conscious Discipline is based on Dr. Becky Bailey's  book,  Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline.  I love that book.  It taught me a lot about myself.   About a year and a half ago, I took a class that was provided by a local church, on Conscious Discipline.  The presenter had been trained in this theory and the class was awesome!  The main reason I took the class though was for Sunshine, not Monster.  Monster and I are pretty good at the Conscious Discipline stuff.  Sunshine, well, she's a tougher case.  Nothing works for her.  I even contacted the presenter of the class, Larry Slocum,  several times to discuss my problems and what I'm doing wrong.  In theory, I'm doing things correctly and she should calm down.  In reality, she just pitches a bigger fit.  The problem is both of us.

Since Sunshine has been born, I've bought more parenting books than one should ever own.  I'm pretty sure we went through every sleep theory out there when she was a baby.  Nothing worked.  One day, she just slept and that was that.  She has always been so happy and full of life.  She has also always been very strong willed.  Her emotions lead her, which is difficult for me to deal with.   Monster is very emotional, but doesn't let emotion interfere with his logic.  Here's a great example.  In the car, when Monster was Sunshine's age, he asks for water.  I let him know we are in the car and I can't get him water.   Crying starts.  I would calmly say, "[Monster], you would like water.  We are in the car right now, so I can not get you water.  When we get home, you can have some water.'  He was sad he didn't have water immediately, but instantly calmed down and knew when we got home, he would get water.  Same situation with Sunshine.  Repeat same phrase.  More hysterical crying takes place.  "I want it now!".  Calmly repeat myself.  Screams from the backseat.  Monster covering his ears, while trying to explain we're in a car and there is no possible way to get water while in the car.  Several things then happen.  First, I will try to ignore her and instruct Monster to ignore her as well.  She will then scream the whole way home, literally.  Another scenario is I get mad and yell back.  Then Monster starts yelling.  Then the car is full of three screaming people.  By the time I get home, there is no way I'm giving that kid water because it will seem as though she won, even though it's what I've been saying the whole time.  The cycle is mentally draining.

The other night, I decided to take a parenting webinar through Positive Parenting Solutions.  It was good.  The biggest problem was that the things they discussed are things I already do and don't have success with.  Ignore the tantrums.  I do this, but then she hangs on my leg, literally.  I move her and she comes right back. One thing that made me feel good about taking this webinar is to know I'm not alone.  There are people out there with much bigger issues than me.  That's always good to know.  I tend to surround myself with "perfect" parents.  I say that knowing there is no such thing, but I feel that way.  These are the people whose kids listen the first time they say something.  People who can take their children places like the zoo alone and have no fighting.  People who don't have to say, "Please sit down and eat your food", at least ten times during a meal.  I'm pretty sure I surround myself with these people because I strive to be them.  However, it also makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.  Seeing the struggles others are having was a huge help.  I wanted to take the class, but I missed the sign up deadline for the discount and it's just too expensive to do without it.  

So, until I hit the lottery and can take the class, or until my kids are out of the house and married, I'll stick to my reading many, many, many parenting books in hopes of finding my inner calm and a good balance of discipline and fun.

Secrets, secrets.  Everybody's got them.  I've got mine.  I bet I know yours and it's not so hot.

Everyone has secrets.  Those deep dark things in your life you don't want other people to know. Here's the thing, if you want something to stay a secret, don't post it on Facebook.  

Just sayin'.