My husband is a natural born leader. People look to him for leadership and for what to do on a job rather than "bosses" who are bossy. In a Management 101 class that I took nearly 2 decades ago, the professor stated that in order to be a good boss, you needed to respect your employees. Right there is the difference between being bossy and being a boss. When little girls are bossy, you tend to hear that they will make great bosses someday. This is just an excuse that parents make for their child's behavior. Being bossy does not equal being a good boss. When little boys are aggressive to get what they want, or bully people into doing things, the same tends to be said about being a good boss. Good bosses do not use intimidation. To be a good boss, you need to be a leader. Leaders are different than bosses. Leaders do not need to "boss" people around to accomplish a goal.
What got me thinking of all this is that my daughter is applying for the leadership group at her school. When my son was in 4th and 5th grades, he also wanted to join this group. The problem for him was that the kids who bullied him had joined this group and he didn't want to be part of that. It's sad that our society has trouble seeing the difference between leadership and bossiness/bullying. Too often, outsiders see these traits as being good at leading. It's once you have to work with these people that you see that's not true. It's once people start to quit and leave and not want to be around those people that others start to see a problem as well. In order to be a leader, you don't need to be loud and outspoken. You need to stick to your convictions while working with others to obtain a common goal. I'm proud to say that my children excel at that.
Both of my kids have natural leadership skills like their father. However, leadership skills also need to be nurtured. When my children are being bossy with their friends, we nip it in the bud. We remind them to listen to see what their friends are thinking and then compromise. Both of my children are excellent at compromise. Compromising doesn't always mean giving in. Some people believe that in order to lead, you must always get what you want. This just isn't true. In order to lead, you must know when to push and when to ease up. You need to listen to others, not pretend to listen, but actually hear what they are saying, even if they aren't saying it. Sometimes, the best leaders are the quiet ones who listen and take it all in. Listening is critical for being a good leader, and one can't listen if they are too busy bossing others around.
What got me thinking of all this is that my daughter is applying for the leadership group at her school. When my son was in 4th and 5th grades, he also wanted to join this group. The problem for him was that the kids who bullied him had joined this group and he didn't want to be part of that. It's sad that our society has trouble seeing the difference between leadership and bossiness/bullying. Too often, outsiders see these traits as being good at leading. It's once you have to work with these people that you see that's not true. It's once people start to quit and leave and not want to be around those people that others start to see a problem as well. In order to be a leader, you don't need to be loud and outspoken. You need to stick to your convictions while working with others to obtain a common goal. I'm proud to say that my children excel at that.
Both of my kids have natural leadership skills like their father. However, leadership skills also need to be nurtured. When my children are being bossy with their friends, we nip it in the bud. We remind them to listen to see what their friends are thinking and then compromise. Both of my children are excellent at compromise. Compromising doesn't always mean giving in. Some people believe that in order to lead, you must always get what you want. This just isn't true. In order to lead, you must know when to push and when to ease up. You need to listen to others, not pretend to listen, but actually hear what they are saying, even if they aren't saying it. Sometimes, the best leaders are the quiet ones who listen and take it all in. Listening is critical for being a good leader, and one can't listen if they are too busy bossing others around.
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