Today was the day. Sunshine has been super excited about this. "Miss Weesa" cutting her hair has been something she has been looking forward to all week! "Miss Weesa make [Sunshine's] hair putty". I had given Lisa (my stylist) free reign. I told her to do whatever she thought would be best. Lisa settled on a side sweep bang and just evening up the length, but not taking too much off. Sunshine was awesome. She sat patiently and quietly while Lisa worked on her hair. She loved the outcome! When we left, she couldn't wait to show Aunt [Lee] her pretty hair cut. When we walked out to the car, I asked her if she wanted a clip in her hair. Her reply, "I no need cwip. My hair no in eyes. Miss Weesa cut it". She's thrilled with the results! I think this is going to be the start of a love affair with the salon!
Monster was 1 year and 5 days old when he got his first haircut. He did great. He sat still. He didn't cry. He was literally perfect. I've been putting off getting Sunshine's hair cut for a couple of reasons. First, I like long hair. I just think it looks cute on little girls. Second, she's got curls. She has these great curls in the back of her head. Her hair kind of flips up and I did not want to lose that. And lastly, I didn't believe she would sit still. Lately though, her hair has been looking worse and worse because she won't let me put it in a clip or ponytails. So, I decided to get it cut.
Today was the day. Sunshine has been super excited about this. "Miss Weesa" cutting her hair has been something she has been looking forward to all week! "Miss Weesa make [Sunshine's] hair putty". I had given Lisa (my stylist) free reign. I told her to do whatever she thought would be best. Lisa settled on a side sweep bang and just evening up the length, but not taking too much off. Sunshine was awesome. She sat patiently and quietly while Lisa worked on her hair. She loved the outcome! When we left, she couldn't wait to show Aunt [Lee] her pretty hair cut. When we walked out to the car, I asked her if she wanted a clip in her hair. Her reply, "I no need cwip. My hair no in eyes. Miss Weesa cut it". She's thrilled with the results! I think this is going to be the start of a love affair with the salon!
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I'm not a crafty person. I desperately want to be though. Every couple of years, I get it in my head that I can be crafty. That I can do all those great homemade projects that I've seen. That I can start to sew (HA!). Well, it's that time. I believe that I can be crafty. I have spent literally hours surfing the web finding awesome ideas of things to do and make. I've even gotten the material for some of these things together. First order of business is the Mommy Ransom Box. This is by far the easiest of projects that I have picked and the least crafty, but it's definately creative! Even Husband is on board with this one. We're sick of the kids not cleaning up, especially Monster. The idea of this box is that everything that isn't picked up, after being asked to pick it up, goes in the box. In order to get the things out of the box, a chore needs to be done. One toy for each chore completed. How great is that?
Next thing on the agenda are playgroup books. When Monster was a baby, I made him a book for all his family members since we don't see everyone that often. Well, I decided I wanted to do that for Sunshine's playgroup as well. This time though, I didn't want to make just one for her, but one for everyone! Didn't realize what a large project this was until I ordered pictures. One hundred twenty-six pictures to be exact. That's siblings, moms and playgroup participants times six. They are mostly completed, just waiting to get to Staples to laminate them (and I figure I'll get the chore cards laminated for the Ransom Box, while I'm at it). After those two projects are complete, I'm going to tackle making this for Halloween and these for Thanksgiving. Then there are some Christmas gift projects for the kids to make the grandparents (so I will not link those here at this time, but rather after the holidays) I also can't forget those things that I want to sew! I need to fix a beanie baby and doll stroller seat. While I'm on the sewing thing, I'm going to make a dog bed or two for the SPCA. And don't get me started on baking I plan on accomplishing! Realistically, I'll get the playgroup book and Ransom Box done. As for the rest, if it happens, great. If not, that's typical. This time though, I swear I'm going to try stick to it...maybe :) Today is Google's 13th birthday. I find this amazing. I can't remember a time when I didn't use Google. However, it wasn't all that long ago apparently. When I was in high school, the internet was extremely limited. We were some of the first people to get the internet in my whole school. Then, AOL was the big thing. Even then, that wasn't until my Senior year.
Times have changed so much so quickly. I feel like I just can't keep up. From the time I started college to the time I graduated there were already so many changes. One of the big changes being cell phones. Every student entering college as I was leaving seemed to have a cell phone and was on it all the time. I could never grasp the concept of why people needed to call their roommate and tell them they were on their way home from class. My roommates all knew my schedule and if we were meeting up for something, we planned a time in advance. Even when I first moved here, I didn't have a cell phone. Now, I can't imagine life without it. Since Monster's in school, I keep my cell phone with me at all times. I talk to Husband throughout the day, which, until he got a good phone 3 years ago, I didn't do. I still don't have a high tech phone. It doesn't even take pictures. Yet, somehow, Sunshine already knows most phones take pictures. She always has me smile for pictures that she' taking with her pretend phone. Cameras are something else that have changed by leaps and bounds. When I entered college, I was an Advertising Photography major. I was able to develop my own film, adjust shutter speeds, etc. Now, kids don't understand if they can't see the picture right away. Five years or so ago I took pictures of my nieces and they were very upset when I wouldn't show them the pictures. They had no idea that cameras were ever made that you couldn't see the pictures right away. At least the girls got a chance to see a camera with film. My children will never see one. Everything has become electronic...technical. It's all become so fast paced. Most of the time we don't even think about it. We just adapt to the changes and pick our pace to go along with it. What happened to lazy days? Not a day goes by that I don't check my email. I feel extremely out of touch because I don't have text messaging. There are people I know who can't even enjoy an evening out without constantly being on their phones calling, texting, surfing the web. It's sad. At least once a week, I try to shut everything off. I try to take it back to just being about family and the kids. It's crazy how difficult that really is. I'd say that I'd take the rest of today off, but Husband is gone and the computer is our source of communication. So, instead of creating an unrealistic goal, I will say, I'm going to take a break. Until this evening, we're back to the basics. No TV. No computers. No phones. Just Mommy Well, It finally happened. We finally moved Sunshine to a big girl bed. We've been putting it off for fear that she'd get up in the middle of the night and wander around her room. Monster was a in a big boy bed before he turned two, but he was a sound sleeper. Last weekend we sucked it up and put her bed up. She's been great. She doesn't get out until we come get her. She's so proud of herself, too. When she wakes up, the first thing she tells me is, "I no get out of bed". My little girl is growing up. It goes by so quickly that I feel like I miss out on so much. I'm so grateful that I can stay at home with my children to experience all the wonderful things that come with growing up. I love to bake. Baking I'm good at (cooking is a whole different thing). I rarely have time for it though. So, when I do have time and actually want to make something, I want tools that are going to work and make things go smoothly. A week or so ago, I baked mini muffins for Monster. I got super lazy with it. I decided to spray the tins with Pam instead of Baker's Joy simply because I was too lazy to turn my Lazy Susan....yes you read that correctly. I was too lazy to turn my Lazy Susan. Now, I'm sure everyone has seen those commercials for Pam where the muffins just fall out of the tins perfectly. I had that image in my head. Heck, Pam is sort of like Baker's Joy, right? No. Not even close. I have never had muffins...simple muffins...fail so miserably. It was a good thing those muffins were just for us. Trying to get the muffins out the tins were like trying to chisel ice from a windshield. Though the muffins themselves tasted great, they were crumbled into pieces. Out of 36 mini muffins, I got 2 that came out whole. That never happens with Baker's Joy. That's what I get for being lazy. Learned my lesson though. Muffins I made yesterday turned out perfectly using good old Baker's Joy!
My house is small. Not tiny, but not large enough to fit all our stuff. You may be thinking that we then have too much stuff. I'd agree, but most people have more. I guess the issue really isn't the size of our house, but the design. Whomever designed our house must not have owned anything. Windows, doors, and vents are all in strange locations. There is very little room for furniture. This leaves a lot of things around the house without homes.
My mind works best with things in neat little boxes. So, I believe that there should be a place for everything and everything should be in it's place. When I look around, I see so many things that just have no place. It's frustrating, especially since I've been clearing our so much lately. It's still those random things that get me down. I see all these great organizational ideas, but they all actually take up space. If I had the space, I wouldn't need the ideas. Yes, I'd love to have a place to put my kids' paintings to dry, but building a drying center doesn't work for me. Where would I find room to put that? The kids art supplies are in desperate need of organization. Love this idea, but I'd have to add on to the house. Why should it be this difficult to get organized in a small space? I have now sat here and stared at this screen for several days. Where do I start with this one? My "Expecations" post made me reflect a lot on my own behavior. As I stated in that post, I'm not perfect and I'm working on meeting my own expecations. I started thinking of how children, well, everyone actually, learn through example. Two books I'm reading, Raising Happiness and Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline, focus on this. I all got me thinking, we've all had those days where we're in a bad mood, but then someone does something nice for you, and you can't help but to feel a little bit better. Learning from example. Being adults, we don't necessarily look at it that way anymore, but we should. People around us, what they say and do, effect our behavior as well.
When I was teaching, I shared a room with the SLP and SLD tutor. The first year, it was great. It was my first job after moving here, so I was excited. The people I shared a room with where wonderful. They were happy and excited about their jobs, too. The next year, a new SLP came. I had just been passed over for a classroom position that I really wanted, however, I still liked my job. The new SLP was very negative. It was obvious she didn't like her job and she didn't like the district. After several months sharing a room, I started to become angry and resent the fact that I was not a classroom teacher. I started to dread going to work. It literally took me the full school year to realize it was because of her that I felt like this. Days she was there were my worst and days she wasn't were my best. Learning by example. Once I realized it was her, I was able to go back and sort out my feelings from her feelings. I wasn't happy in my district, but I loved my job and I focused on that. It made the rest of my time there much better. With kids involved, everything we do in life is watched and evaluated. How you speak to and treat others will be mimicked. How you handle stress will be mimicked. All of your habits, good and bad, will be mimicked. I have learned the most about my actions through my children. I have to say I am not proud of a lot of things. I can see how I expect certain behaviors out of my children, yet model the opposite. Do as I say, not as I do. For some things, it has to be that way. I'm an adult, they are children. Yet, for most things, it should be do as I do. How can I expect my children to clean up after themselves when I have piles of junk lying around waiting to be organized? How can I expect my children to always use manners when I forget myself? How can I expect my children to be more active when all Husband and I want to do in the evenings is sit and rest? How will my children learn drinking is not OK if Husband and I have a drink every night? Old school thinking is, because they are children and you are the adult. But how are they supposed to learn unless we model appropriate behaviors? I always wondered why my son wasn't into arts or crafts when he was younger. Most of his peers were. I would always ask him if he wanted to draw or color, etc. He never really did. A friend of mine who is an art teacher, her children love to color and draw. Then I realized something. It's because she models it for them. She colors with them. She draws with them. I started to do this with Monster and he started to become more interested. Another friend of mine who is like another mother to my children does a lot of crafts with her kids. My children were over there and did crafts with them and now, they can't get enough. It takes example. It takes modeling the desired behavior. In some areas, I have succeeded beyond my wildest expectations. Monster is the most empathetic, compassionate child I know. He has a genuine concern for people and his environment. He believes in giving to those in need. He understands that everyone is different and likes different things, and no one is wrong in their differences. Both my children love to read. Both my children love to be active. For the most part, my children eat very healthy foods. Both children have a deep love of music. My children understand the value of family, as much as they can for their ages. Though they fight a lot, they are each other's best friends. I believe Husband and I provide them with a good example of how marriage should be so that when they are older, they know what a loving relationship looks like. Monster and Sunshine are both very independent. Though headstrong a lot of the time, it will serve them well later in life. I have taken a look at the people who are in my life and my children's lives. There are both positive and negative examples of who I want my children to become. For the most part, the people who allow in our lives on a regular basis are wonderful examples, either to me or my children or both. With my kids so young, I try to monitor who they are friends with and steer them away from negative influences. This doesn't always work, but we have an open relationship with our children and discuss appropriate and inappropriate behavior with them. For the most part, my children learn for themselves that they do not want to be around mean children. There has only been on instance where I've had to put my foot down and say you may not play with this person and then tell them why. After explaini I am proud of who my children are becoming. I hope I have the patience and strength to change my own behaviors so my children have a more positive role model. I hope that by seeing positive behavior, they choose their friends well and live life to it's fullest. I have weight issues. I try not to let my kids see them though. I want them to have positive body imagines. This week I went to the doctor and found out I'm 5 lbs. overweight. I have never been overweight in my life. In fact, I have always been on the skinny side. After Sunshine was born, I had a difficult time dropping the pounds. Right after she turned one, I started to have neck issues. They were so bad that I couldn't even do yoga. It turns out that I have a deteriorating disc in my neck. Well, after this, I started packing on the pounds. I've gained 20 lbs in a little over a year. What makes it more frustrating is that I rarely eat. It's rare I have breakfast, except coffee. I'm lucky if I have lunch. I don't snack.
I also don't exercise. I don't have the time. More accurate, I don't have the energy. I was regularly doing yoga until my neck issues came around. I love doing yoga, but I still can't do it because it causes too much pain. Most of the activities that I enjoy doing cause too much neck pain. It's a vicious cycle. Each morning I wake up, get on this computer and think, "I should be exercising", but my neck hurts too badly, so I just sit and type. Chiropractor said that I need at least 3 days of therapy a week for six months to get my neck/back to where it should be and then weekly or bi-weekly therapy to maintain it....for the rest of my life. Who has time for that? Even if I wasn't a stay at home mom, people have jobs that they need to go to. When would anyone fit in that much time for therapy? Next year is my year for getting my neck fixed. Sunshine will be in preschool two days a week and Monster will be in first grade. I can get two days of therapy a week in. Until then, I guess I'll just have to sit in front of my computer and sulk about being overweight. Apparently I have extremely high expectations. Not just of myself or my children, but everyone. I actually find this kind of funny since I've lowered my expectations of others greatly and didn't feel as though they were all that high before. However, they must be high when I'm constantly disappointed by what I see and experience going on around me.
I've often been told that my expectations for my children are too high. That I'm too hard on them. In some areas, I agree, I need to let up. However, I expect that when my children are in a learning situation, they will be respectful and follow directions. I actually expect this out of everyone's children. Maybe it's because I was a former teacher, I don't know. Whatever the reason, I am constantly shocked by the poor behavior of other children in these situations. Now, before you think that I'm saying my kids are perfect, believe me, that's not what I'm saying AT ALL! They are not perfect and I'm quite embarrassed by their behavior on many occasions. However, I am extremely proud of my children, especially Monster, when they are in a learning environment. Whether that be swim lessons, soccer, music, school, etc., they sit and listen to the instructor and do what is expected of them. The reason I'm reflecting on this is because of the current situation that is going on in Monster's swim lessons. There are a total of 4 children in Monster's group. Before the very first lesson even began, two of the children's mother comes up and warns the 16 year old instructor that her son will not sit on the wall and her daughter may not even get in. She also warned the teacher that her son doesn't listen and bit a child in the last session. She then looks at me and says, "So, I'm sorry if my son bites your kid". Um, really? Then, she leaves to go work out. Here is my expectation, and I don't believe it's unreasonable, if you know your children won't listen and will most likely hurt others, 1) stay and monitor the situation, or, even better, 2) don't let them take swim lessons. In my house, swim lessons are a privilege. If Monster wasn't attentive and doing what he was told, he wouldn't go. That wouldn't really be the case though because I'm the parent who sits, watches, and corrects behavior if necessary. And, I'm please to say that I've only had to correct behavior about 3 times in the past year and half. Again, not saying Monster is the best behaved child, but, at swim lessons, he sits on the wall, focuses on the teacher, and doesn't play around. Same with soccer, t-ball, art, music, and bible camp. We're working on school, but he's not the worst one, which is a plus. I expect my children to be better for other people than they are for me. Sunshine is a handful. She is most definitely a strong willed child. I used to be very nervous to leave her with anyone since she's so difficult. When I finally left her, she was fine. Everyone who watches her tells me how good she was. I'm always amazed. How can she be so pig headed and temperamental for me and sweet and sunny for others? It makes me happy to know that I'm doing something right when my children are so good for others. I have a lot of expectations about respect. Probably too long to really get into. However, I believe that we, as civilized people, should treat everyone with respect. We should also respect the earth and the world around us. We should respect differences in each other. We should respect other's views, not agree, but respect (with a valid argument) I believe that with respect comes compassion, charity, and humility. It shocks me when people that I know are so completely self-centered that they do not have the least bit of respect for others around them. I know people who have never taught their children charity because they believe that they deserve everything that they have and why should they help other people out if it doesn't benefit them (seriously, not exaggerating, really know people like that). I don't get it. Isn't the point of having, to give back what you can? So maybe you can give up a $5 coffee and buy the $0.29 cent can of beans from Buehlers and donate it to a food pantry. Nope, that's too much to ask of some people. I expect follow through from people. If you say you are going to do something, do it. If you don't want to do something, don't volunteer. Don't make up last minute excuses. Don't lie about it. If you forgot, own up to it. Believe me, I'd forget my head most of the time if it wasn't attached, but I do what I say I'm going to do. It may take a while, but I'll get around to it and I'll apologize for the wait or own up to the fact that I forgot. I don't believe that is particular expectation is too difficult, yet, it's one that I've actually lowered for certain people. There are people that I know make promises they have no intention of keeping. It disappoints me, but I've come to terms with it. I expect people to try. Doesn't matter what, just try. Try to be polite. Try to listen to others. Try to make a difference. Just put forth some effort into SOMETHING. People who expect everything to be handed to them are in for a large karmic lesson at some point in their lives. Unfortunately, this is also an area where I've had to lower my expectations of people. There are just some people in our lives who don't even want to bother. Trying to do anything might exert too much energy. I'm not hypocritical though. Everything that I expect from others, I expect from myself, but even more so. I try my best every day to live up to my basic expectations plus more. The expectations I have for myself are extremely high. I want to believe that I am SuperWoman, but, alas, I am not. I let myself down constantly. I'm working on getting over that. I'm working on more realistic expectations of myself, my children, and my husband. Of everyone else, I don't think I expect that much. I'm tired of lowering standards just so we aren't disappointed in an outcome. I believe the things I really expect from people are simple to achieve. Other people just need to start waking up and begin living up to their potential. Lately, I feel like I'm running on a hamster wheel. I feel as though the more I do, the more that needs to be done. I take a look at all of the things I need to accomplish and wonder when I'm going to have time. It doesn't help that Husband has been gone a lot more lately, Sunshine is testing all sorts of boundaries, and Monster believes now that he's five, he should be allowed to do whatever he pleases. I feel as though my days are spent separating my kids, doing dishes and picking up after the kids. That leaves little time for much else. I desperately want to start baking again since it's something I used to love to do, but there's no time. I would love to actually finish a book I start, but again, no time. I haven't uploaded pictures in a very long time. If my computer wasn't so old, I could do that while I type this.
I start each day with high hopes and great spirits. Then, by naptime, I give up. I realize I'm going to get nothing accomplished. On the rare occasion I do get everything accomplished, I feel as though I've neglected my children. It seems to be a lose-lose lately. In the book I'm trying to read when I get a free moment, Raising Happiness, the very first point is to take some me time. It states that you can't be an effective role model of happiness if you aren't happy. Everyone needs downtime. Time just for themselves. With Husband gone so much lately, I haven't had any good "me time" in a while, and I can tell it's affecting how I parent. I get stuck on this hamster wheel when I'm not taking time to do things I enjoy. With no end in sight to Husband traveling, I don't know how long I'm going to be stuck in this place. I'm hoping to shake it soon so I can be the parent my kids need. |
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