My friends, they know I’m “a lot”. They know I’m a lot of baked goods that come their way, especially if they are having a rough time. They know I’m a lot of sarcasm, especially when they need a pick me up. My friends know I’m a lot of corgi butts, especially when they need to smile. They also know I’m a lot of devil’s advocate when they need to see the whole picture. They know I’m a lot of finding the positive side when they can’t find it. They know I’m a lot of logical when they are spinning out of control. They know I’m a lot of these things because they stuck around.
When you’re “a lot” for people and they walk away, they miss everything you’re “a lot” of. Let me be honest, I completely take it personally when people don’t like me. It’s stupid because I am literally a take me or leave me person. I’m good with who I am. I think who I am is pretty good. I am absolutely flawed, but we all are. One of my flaws is wanting people to like me. A friend posted this today, “Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.” She didn’t post it about me, but it hit home. Even though I don’t like most people, I’m kind to everyone. I’m also a lot of kindness. That kindness makes it hurt a lot when I feel rejected. I just need to remember, I am who I am. The important thing is that I like me. I’m good with being a lot. It just means I have a lot to give. It’s others’ loss if they don’t stick around for it.