Almost every night at dinner, we go around the table and ask what our favorite part of the day was. Since I'm working on making my kids more accountable for their actions and trying to get them to see how they effect the world around them, we've now added in, "What did you do today that made someone happy? Why did it make them happy?" and "What did you do today that made someone sad? Why did it make them sad? How could you change that?" The happy part is amazingly difficult for my kids. I am really surprised by that. I'm also disappointed in my parenting for that. My kids have no problem identifying something that made someone sad, "I threw a block", "I yell and scream", "I hit my sister/brother." When they do something inappropriate, I make them stop and think about how that makes the other person feel. Doing this at dinner has made me realize that I don't point out the things that they are doing to make other happy enough. The big stuff, yes, but the everyday little things, I don't. Yesterday was a good example. Monster has a very difficult time with handwriting. He struggles so much that he refuses to do it a lot. Apparently at school yesterday, he did an awesome job. I congratulated him, but never said how it made me or his teacher feel. At dinner, he couldn't come up with something he did to make someone happy. I told him he did a great job at writing. He asked how it made people happy. I let him know that when he tries his hardest and actually works on what he's supposed to, it makes his teacher happy because she doesn't have to keep stopping what she's doing to try to get him to write. I let him know it makes her happy to see he can do it. I told him it made me happy because we then didn't have to work on his incomplete writing at home so we could have more time to play together. He honestly just didn't see the connection. My kids do so many wonderful, good things throughout the day. I'm ashamed that I haven't pointed the connections out sooner. I plan on correcting that. Making other people happy isn't just about doing good deeds or some grand gesture. Sometimes, it's as simple as a smile.
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